An Ongoing List of Things That, Contrary to Popular Belief, Are Not Cool [updated]

-drawing a mustache on your finger and holding it to your face
-drawing a mustache on your face
-"shutter shade"/"Kanye West" sunglasses
-Sublime
-singing Sublime songs really loudly on the balcony of the apartment above me
-Bob Marley
-celebrating every cultural or pseudo-cultural holiday by getting hammered
-pretending to be ironically faux-sexist/racist/homophobic when really you're just trying to hide the fact that you're ACTUALLY sexist/racist/homophobic
-doing anything stupid/ridiculous/etc "ironically"
-slack-lining
-saying that you're engaged, pregnant, or broken up on April Fool's Day
-taking photographs of people jumping mid-air
-taking photographs of yourself
-uggs
-crocs
-high heels
-wearing so much makeup your face looks like it's made of wax
-...actually, wearing makeup, period
-fulfilling stereotypes
-smoking hookah

I shall think of more...

Bad People

Over spring break, Jon and I took the greyhound from Olympia to Bellingham. Good idea, right? Nope. While we were at the Olympia station, one woman was yelling (yes, really yelling) at the woman who worked at the ticket booth place, because her daughter (I think) wasn't allowed to bring an extra piece of luggage on the bus. Her rationale was that the girl has a service dog, and that dog was allowed to "have" one piece of luggage. This was a rational argument, but the woman was being totally unreasonable. She was being very mean to the employee, and her behavior was absolutely unacceptable.

But then I thought what makes people "bad." Here are a few reasons why someone would be a "bad" person:

-They were born with a mental illness that makes them angry and irrational.
-They were raised by parents who were angry, abusive, etc.
-They encountered a life-changing event that caused them to hate life and everything about it.

Why else would someone be like this nasty woman?

Furthermore, if she was subject to one of these reasons, it's not HER fault that she's a "bad" person. I'm convinced that behind everyone's terrible actions, there is a reason that is beyond their control. Okay, maybe not totally beyond their control, but enough to pre-dispose them to to have such behavior.

Just a thought.

--Elie

An Open Letter to Everyone

Dear World,

Every time you put an 'h' in my first name, God kills seven kittens. Please, think of the kittens.

Love,

--Jon

I Have a Surprise for You

I'm Jewish! SURPRISE!

I was working with a student (who is Asian; I won't specify his ethnicity) at the high school today, and I was reading with him about the Israel/Palestine conflict. We got to a part about the day Israel gained independence. I said something about how "we celebrate that day as a holiday" and had to explain that I was Jewish myself. The student's reaction was a lot like the reaction from the other student who found out I was Jewish. He was so amazed. Again, I couldn't really find out why he was so surprised. I'm guessing that he had never met a Jew before. Maybe it was like meeting a celebrity. No, really. Maybe he has only read about Jews is books and seen them on TV. Maybe meeting one was a big deal.

Reflecting on these two Surprise-I'm-a-Jew events, I wonder if I shouldn't be telling students I'm Jewish. It's not like I'm skipping around shouting "Hey, everyone! I'm Jewish!" I mention it when students are learning about Israel or Hebrew or something related to Judaism. That way, I can help their learning experience.

Okay, but religion should stay out of the classroom, right? The way I see it, I don't mention the religious part of Judaism if I can get around it. I'm culturally Jewish rather that religiously (interpret that how you wish), and I believe that students must learn about other cultures. What better to learn about a foreign culture than to meet someone who identifies with that culture? But something tells me that I should keep my mouth shut, because one of these days, it might cause a problem...

--Elie

Imagine Shakespeare Got Drunk...

Think about what would happen if Shakespeare got completely wasted. I mean like his friends are considering taking him to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. But right before his liver just about exploded, he wrote the worst piece of shit script his inebriated brain could possibly concoct. Now imagine Uwe Boll found this script and translate it into modern (awful) English and set it in modern-day San Francisco. While also drunk. And then decided to produce a movie using said script. Now imagine a freshman at a rather unprestigious film school was ordered to direct this movie (also while drunk), and given a cast of actors who had only acted one time each, all in either soap operas or WE/Hallmark/Lifetime movies. Except the lead role, which was given to a French homeless guy.

This is what the movie The Room is like. It's magnificent. You must watch it.

--Jon

Take the Good and Bad and Make the Best of It

Title courtesy of The Republic Tigers.

I had a really good morning! Then I had sort of a lousy afternoon. But it's okay! It's funny how life plays out. But lemme start from the beginning.

I volunteered for 2 hours at the high school today, and I worked with one girl who usually doesn't want help from anybody. We worked pretty well together, and she wasn't rejecting my being there at all. Next I worked with a boy who really doesn't like reading, and his assignment was to read to me. Long story short, we got to talking about my bio-anth class, and he said that evolution isn't real. Then he asked if I was Christian. I told him I was Jewish, and he was really surprised! He started asking me questions about my family and if both my parents were Jewish. At one point he asked why I was Jewish in the first place. It was a little awkward because I could hardly understand him, and it was a bit concerning because I wasn't sure if he started to hate me because I'm taking a class about evolution and I'm Jewish. But we talked. We actually had a conversation, and that was impressive. He might hate me now, but, heck, it was worth it. While he was reading to me, the girl I worked with first came over and asked for help. She actually ASKED for help. This is the girl who doesn't ask for help. And if she does, she'll ask the teacher. This was probably the most impressive part of the day.

Then I went to my clarinet lesson and couldn't play a simple to scale to save my life. I kept thinking, "I just want to be done with this." I didn't hate myself for not being able to play well like usual. I knew that I'm pretty mediocre at the clarinet, and that's fine, because I'm going to be a good (hopefully better than good) teacher, and I'm making impressive strides with the students I'm working with now.

Reflecting on my previous blog, I think another reason why I'm not as stressed is that I've stopped caring so much about being great at things I know I'm not good at, and I'm concentrating on what I AM good at, and I'm doing well.

--Elie

Your Probably Thought I Was Dead

Right? You all totally thought I'd died of stress and from taking 22 credits. It would have been a good, logical guess, though. But you'd have been wrong! Delightfully, wonderfully wrong!

You see, the stress gods took pity on me. My stress level is a fraction of what it used to be, and it is miraculous. It's not like I don't feel any anxiety, but it's not nearly as bad as before. And it happened all by itself! Or did it...?

I think this is the first few months in my entire life (well, since like 3rd grade) that I haven't been banging my head against the wall because of my classes. Yes, I am taking 22 credits. Yes, it's a lot. Yes, it's too much and I maaaybe shouldn't have done it. But I have and I am happy.

Yep. Happy. Happy because I'm working with wonderful 5th graders. Happy because I met wonderful high school English language learners. Happy because I'm excelling in my classes. Happy because bio-anth isn't destroying me, and even when I have an issue, my professor is quite attractive and kind, so it's sort of a win-win. Happy because, for once, I'm defeating my mountain of homework rather than it defeating me. Happy because I am often surrounded by peers and teachers who believe in educational equity for all. Happy because I don't have to deal with the drama of student-run clubs. Happy because I have the best boyfriend and fellow squirrel-bagger ever.

But you know what I'm dreading? I'm dreading having to leave my 5th graders in a few weeks. They make me so frustrated and exhausted, and they make me so happy. I've made fabulous connections to some students, and it's hard for me to take in that I probably won't see them after my next few visits. I'm in the process of writing them all cards about how much they've achieved this year. I'm also dreading leaving my ELLs at the local high school. I've only spent about 10 hours there, but I adore them. I'm pretty sure most of them can't stand me, but I've learned so much for them, I'm having dreams in Spanish, and I'm beginning to see how brilliant they are. Last week, they threw a surprise party for the teacher, and I felt like I was in the middle of Erin Gruwell's classroom (you know, from the book/movie The Freedom Writers). There I was, witnessing Latino, Chinese, Ethiopian, and Punjabi students tell the teacher how much they love her and how she has inspired them.

Maybe I should stop being selfish and treasure all the amazing memories I have from this year. Was it only a year? It seems like far more than that. And to think I get to spend the rest of my life doing this!

These students sustain me.

--Elie

I'm Going to Try to Become a Vegetarian

...After I eat all the meat that I've already bought and is in my house, so it (and the animal's death for it) doesn't go to waste. And because it's still delicious.

I've come to the conclusion that since human's don't have to eat meat, since we can get our nutrients from other places, since we can make that choice, since the raising of animals for meat is a huge contributor to environmental problems, since animals raised for meat eat a shit ton of food, and a tiny fraction of that actually gets converted into what we eat, since the industrial meat industry is totally fucked up and abuses the shit out of animals in countless ways, and since it causes the (usually unnecessarily brutal) death of an animal that has complex thoughts and feelings... being a vegetarian just seems the logical thing to do. This is going to be hard for me, since I've been an avid meat-lover my entire life. It's an integral part of my diet. Pepperoni pizza, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, BACON, ham, steak, ribs, chicken in its various forms... I love them all. But other than my own selfish desires and their wide availability, there just isn't a logical reason to continue eating them.

What spurred this? Well, a little YouTube dude named Onision. He's kind of a jackass sometimes, but the big thing that made me think was when he said something along the lines of, "Yes, humans have been eating meat since the beginning of time... but we aren't eating meat because we're fighting for our lives. We have the choice. I hope you make the right one." He's right. We need to recognize that.

I know it's hypocritical of me to get preachy this early on, but... me becoming a vegetarian is kind of a miracle. If you think you're a huge meat-eater, think about the points I've made and consider it yourself. I may not last. I wish I could be vegan, but it's next-to-impossible as a poor college student. This alone is going to be hard for me, too. Wish me luck. Thanks.

--Jon

Composin' Me Some Music

So, as I probably mentioned at some point, I'm in the Music Composition program now, in lessons with Dear Friend Isaac and Guy I Don't Really Know But Seems Pretty Cool Brendan. I'm essentially bottom-of-the-barrel since this is my first quarter and I'm not a compositional genius, so I don't get my own hour-long lesson. Hopefully next year that will change since I'm such an amazing composer (and since Bruce Hamilton will be back).

These are the pieces I have written thus far:

A Twig for a Nest [for solo flute] (being performed by Ashlyn Stoddard at the Composers of Western concert on... May 27th? Ish?)

Spellbound [for flute and Bb clarinet] (super short, lame, and probably will never ever be performed)

Calamity Dance [for woodwind quartet [bassoon, Bb clarinet, oboe, flute]] (short, written as the performance piece this quarter (for a quartet to sight-read); is going to be expanded into a multi-movement work)

I feel like I should also include one that I composed before I got into the program...

River Tam Beats Up Everyone [for percussion quartet] (I hope to also expand this into a multi-movement work...)

~ * ~

So here's some ideas I have for the future.

River Tam Beats Up Everyone [for reference, see this film and read this comic]

I. Opening/Henchmen

II. Gunslingers

III. Cyborg Ninjas

IV. Evil Clone on Mountaintop

So those probably won't be the final titles (I just came up with those on the spot), but that's the general idea. I'm thinking what I have now will be the "Opening/Henchmen."

Three Dances for Woodwind Quartet

I. Calamity Dance

II. Slow Dance

III. Nu Dance

Essentially it'll be a basic Fast-Slow-Fast suite. "Calamity Dance" I have, obviously. "Slow Dance" I can salvage out of my first attempt at a woodwind quartet piece. The "Nu Dance" I'm thinking will use a driving quarter-note rhythm ala techno/disco/etc for most of it, and will probably morph into something else by the end (based on a discussion Isaac and I had today; people used to actually dance to classic music, like at parties and such, but modern classical pieces called "dances" aren't usually danced to by people unless it's going to be "modern dance"; ergo, I intend for the third movement to be able, at least, to be danced to by the layperson).

Post-Apocalyptic Jam for Percussion

Scenario: the world has essentially ended. Civilization is literally in rubble. A small village of people eventually assembles out of the rubble. They get to the point where they need entertainment, ala music. Here's where this piece comes in. What kind of music would be made after the end of the world? What kinds of instruments would be used? Obviously primarily percussion, mostly found-sounds kind of stuff (brake drum, spring, [this would be the perfect opportunity to use the broken autoharp we have in the percussion room], log drum, maybe a hand drum of some sort, other pieces of metal, etc...). I also want to use a radio tuned to a static channel, using volume swells and maybe some slight modulation of the frequency. It'd be fun and interesting.

House of Leaves

I. Zampanò/Johnny Truant

II. 5 1/2 Minute Hallway

III. "In my father's house are many rooms"

IV. The Spiral Staircase

V. Exploration #5

VI. "The child is gone."/Yggradasil

I'll just copy and paste the notes I made as I was coming up with this...

i. Introduction of *Zampano’s theme*, introduction of *Johnny’s theme*, interplay between the two

a. Slightly ominous, but not scary

b. Still mostly clear, but with some mystery (strange and sudden key change[s])

ii. Prominent use of echoes (statement; statementàecho; statementàechoàfurther obscured echo; etc)

a. Quiet and distant growl(s)

b. Lots of mystery and obscurity, but still grounded in reality

c. Introduction of *the house’s theme*

iii. More disorienting and scary, sudden tempo and dynamic changes

a. More growling (not full volume yet)

b. Hints of reality come through now and then (hints of Johnny’s theme)

c. Have each section be a “room,” but always black, ashen walls (ie, monotonous)

d. End with an organ transition into the next section (The Grand Hall)

iv. Really disorienting

a. Organ intro, get quiet, then quickly (though not suddenly) crescendo and SCREAM the growl

b. Utter chaos, ala Stravinsky (not Schoenberg), occasionally SCREAM

c. Loud but thickly veiled echoes of Zampano’s theme

d. House’s theme = central point, though

v. Quiet intro; entire movement is gradual increase in tempo and dynamics, representing going down the hill

a. The end suddenly gets to loud and screeching halt, with a quieter sustained note, and then a loud fanfare like chorale, and then quiet

b. Slightly veiled restatements of all themes

c. Resolution of house’s theme

vi. Resolution of Johnny’s theme; then resolution of Zampano’s theme

a. Quiet, slow, sad, contemplative movement

b. End on a final tonic major chord

If you haven't read House of Leaves, I still highly suggest it to anyone who won't be offended by frequent "sinning" and the like. It's incredible. I'm not sure yet of the instrumentation, yet, but I'm pretty sure I want organ (probably doubling on piano), some strings, some winds, two percussionists, at least two vocalists... yeah.

Some lonely composition titles I've come up with:

Definitely Beautiful

Suburban Waves

I Wanna Know You

Yep. One composer in the program got, from what I understood, a full-ride scholarship to a doctoral music program somewhere. Made me think that I could do the same. Do I want to do that? Maybe. That's the distant future. For now I'll focus on smaller goals.

--Jon

[UPDATE 5/18/10]: Okay, so after watching a Randall Monroe talk, I realized that one of the "River Tam" movements has to be about dinosaurs.