Somewhat of a Failure

So recently, I attempted to write a song. Nothing really new. But after writing the music, which I was happy with, and it was time to write lyrics, I, as usual, hit a bit of a rut. So I came up with what I could, which in my mind was going to be hard-hitting and poignant and personal lyrics. Turns out they kinda sucked, and I realized this pretty quickly after I finished the song and put it up and tried to give it a title ("The Bewildered Bully"? Really, Jon?). So, after talking with John von about my writer's block, I realized that I need to stop trying so hard. This won't apply just to the lyrics I try to write, but probably also to the music, because it's really hard to write simple lyrics for overly complicated music. Now, I really like the music I've been making, so I'm hoping I can find a way to reconcile and write some decent lyrics to fit the music and vice versa, and come to some kind of compromise, but I'm kinda thinking that collaborating is going to be the way I have to be. That or just straight-up musical composition without lyrics. When I write music, I try to empower myself and make these grand schemes and best myself and everything and everyone. I keep thinking, "I can make this better." And I get so caught up in making everything better, and going over it again and again, I don't take a step back and just make music. I get caught up in "production." In making it more complex and interesting. When it's actually just getting pretentious and boring. I don't know how it's happening, but what I'm TRYING to say is uhhh... I'm trying too hard. And I might be done making "solo music." I don't know. We'll see where my musical adventure with John von take me. But right now, I'm much more satisfied with the music we've been making together than anything I've made by myself.

--Jon