While Jon was peacefully sleeping through his non-existent alarm, I was having a horrible, horrible dream about Jon dying. Then I woke up, realized what I had dreamt, realized it wasn't real -- then broke down out of relief. And, at that moment, I wanted nothing more than to run into Jon's arms, but, alas, it was impossible. I finally forced myself back asleep again, but I've felt a bit weird all day, and, as a result of the dream, I was basically ecstatic when Jon texted me.
I believe this dream was a product of seeing The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - for the third time. At one point, an older woman says, "Benjamin, we're meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?" I don't think this is true. Maybe we feel the void of losing a person and we "don't know what we've got till it's gone," but we can appreciate what we have now, before it's gone. But the woman was kind of right, because my dream did make me realize how lost I'd be without my significant other and fellow squirrel bagger.
I, too, went to see Up. And it made me cry. See, the elderly woman dies before her husband, and he misses her. Ironically, the woman's name is Ellie and the man is Carl (Jon's brother's name). So, while the little kindergartners and their parents joyfully watched this movie, I was crying because I imagined what it would be like to lose Jon. Now I understand why Jon cried because of a video game. Man, we need to see each other soon.
The best part of the movie, in my opinion, was "SQUIRREL!" It hit home for me because Jon and I are always like "SQUIRREL!" in the middle of sentence if we spot one of those furry creatures running around.
Oh, funny story. Yesterday, Penguin the cat came out of the bushes going "meow, meow, meow, meow" which is more than he usually says all at once. Then my mom and I realized he had a small furry something dangling from his mouth of which he was incredibly proud. I ran over and made him spit out the fuzzy thing, which turned out to be a mouse. While I was hoping the little mouse would run away as I restrained the disappointed Penguin, Buddy the poodle wanted to get in on the fun, so my mom held him back as we both cheered on the mouse as it....didn't run away. Rather, it wandered in circles. It was probably dizzy from being played with; hopefully it wasn't injured. My mom was able to usher the little guy into the bushes where Buddy stood guard, hoping the mysterious furry thing would come back, and Penguin slumped onto the sidewalk and glared at us. This incident made me remember one part of Family Guy I watched. Stewie was accusing Brian the dog of being immature or something, and he pointed out that once Brian left a dead bird at the doorstep. Brian angrily said, "That was a gift - for the family, you bastard." I'm sure Penguin was equally pissed at us for taking away his fun and not appreciating his gracious gift.
--Elie
Saturday, June 27, 2009
This Morning... (pt. II)
I work(ed) at 9:30 AM, so I set my alarm for 8:20. My mom woke me, and asked if I worked at 10. I said no, I work at 9:30. I looked at my phone, and... I had set my alarm for 8:20 PM. Luckily I got to work on time.
--Jon
--Jon
Friday, June 26, 2009
This Morning...
I was super tired. I stayed up until 3 AM reading xkcd comics (my latest favorite) (...and another) and did not want to get up for work at 11 AM. So after much struggling to awaken myself, I got up, got ready, and went to work. Much to my confusion, Garrett got there the same time I did. I got out of the car. He got out of the car. He said "...Didn't we switch schedules today?" Not according to my phone we didn't. So we went inside to check. Lo and behold. I wasn't scheduled to work until 1:30 today. So I went home and sat around for a couple of hours. Couldn't back to sleep because I was already too awake. [Insert "d'oh" face that's not working because of stupid html stuff. Grrrr.]
Tomorrow I think I'm going to see Up. IN 3-D!!!
--Jon
Tomorrow I think I'm going to see Up. IN 3-D!!!
--Jon
I've Got Nothing to Report
Well, that's a lie, because I'm writing a blog entry.
I just want all of our many, many readers to be aware that I still love my job/volunteer position in the middle school and I haven't been scared away from teaching. There's not a whole lot to write about, as each day is similar, except every day I become a little bit more comfortable being around the kids. I've always been shy, but I'm working on it and I'm finding it easier to help the kids and be around them more in general. It's exhausting, though, and I'm glad we've got a week off of summer school. And Squirrel Baggers United will be REUNITED AT LAST come Thursday!
-Elie
I just want all of our many, many readers to be aware that I still love my job/volunteer position in the middle school and I haven't been scared away from teaching. There's not a whole lot to write about, as each day is similar, except every day I become a little bit more comfortable being around the kids. I've always been shy, but I'm working on it and I'm finding it easier to help the kids and be around them more in general. It's exhausting, though, and I'm glad we've got a week off of summer school. And Squirrel Baggers United will be REUNITED AT LAST come Thursday!
-Elie
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I Just Cried at a Video Game
Let me start this post out with an arrangement of a beautiful song that accompanied this somewhat potentially pathetic event.
Now that we've got that out of the way... Final Fantasy X. Definitely one of the saddest games I've played in my life, and one of the saddest stories I've ever heard. I'll give you a basic outline of the story and its world, but I'll save nasty details this time.
The story revolves around... Tidus, a guy who is initially lost in an unfamiliar world and searching for a way home... and Yuna, a girl attempting to save her world from an enormous city-sized death-machine of a beast known as Sin. They are accompanied by Wakka, a former athlete, Lulu, a black mage (both of them were childhood friends of Yuna), Kimahri, a quiet giant and lifetime guardian of Yuna, Auron, a man who seems to know both Tidus' world and this new world called Spira, and Rikku, Yuna's cousin who tries to kidnap her to prevent her pilgramage.
Final Fantasy X differs very slightly from the usual RPG archetype. In many Final Fantasies (and many games/movies in general), a "random Joe"-type character goes on a personal quest, joins other random Joes and Janes, and then ends up having to save the world. Not (quite) this game. Tidus, the main protagonist and narrator, just wants to get back to his homeworld of Zanarkand. Yuna is the party leader who is, from the get-go, on a quest to save the world. After travelling for a long time with Yuna and learning that in order to save the world she has to, in essence, kill herself, his mission no longer becomes to go home, but to save Yuna; saving the world is a convenient side-effect. Along his journey he finally realizes that he can't get back.
The world of Spira is plagued by an enormous city-sized (literal) beast known as Sin. It destroys entire villages for no reason, and according to the world religion, it is a punishment for vanity and other sins, which include use of "machina," forbidden machines. Of course, one people, the Al Bhed, ignore the teachings of Yevon and become outcasts. Sounds kinda fishy, eh? It is. Yevon ends up being a corrupt front for a thousand-year-old lust for power in the aftermath of a devastating world war. Sin is just the creation that came from wanting to find an ultimate weapon to get the upperhand in that war (note the similarities between this and World War II/the Cold War/atomic bomb (the game was made in Japan, thus far the only victim of the atomic bomb)).
This knowledge is not known to the majority of Spirans; very few actually know it. Summoners sacrifices their lives to defeat Sin, and then it is reborn. Sin is a "spiral of death" around which the world revolves (hence the name Spira). It rampages unchecked until a Summoner brings the "Calm" for a couple of years, and then it is reborn, "punishing" the world for its sins.
Tidus is from a city called Zanarkand separate from Spira, but when it is attacked by Sin, he is transported to this other world that seems totally alien to him, and he sort of tags along for the ride, accompanying Yuna on her pilgramage, whose endpoint is the ruins of a city dead for a thousand years: Zanarkand.
Tidus thought his father had died 10 years ago at sea, and before this, his father was am arrogant star athlete and teased him a lot, mostly about his crying. A lot of the game revolves around Tidus coming to terms with his father and accepting him, as he learns from Auron that his father truly loved him, but didn't know how to express it.
As one might be able to tell, much of the game also revolves around death. I'm getting sleepy and don't have much else to say about that.
There are several emotionally poignant points in this storyline. A) Tidus learns that his father has somehow become the latest Sin incarnate. B) Tidus learns that Yuna has to kill herself to save Spira (there ends up being another way, negating the corrupt world religion). C) After being labeled as traitors to Yevon, Yuna considers giving up her pilgramage, and talks with Tidus about all the things they can do, like go to his Zanarkand and just live life, but she then begins crying, and realizes, "I can't." As she softly sobs, Tidus embraces her and kisses her. [...then a bad J-Pop ballad plays and it's weird and awkward for awhile, but that's beside the point] D) Inside of Sin, before Tidus has to fight and defeat his own father, who he has come to hate over the years:
Jecht: You're late, Auron.
Auron: I know.
Jecht: (Turns and waves to Tidus) Hey.
Tidus: Hi.
Jecht: Hah! You got tall, but you're all bones! You eating right, boy?
Jecht: You've really grown.
Tidus: Yeah, but you're still bigger.
Jecht: Well, I am Sin, you know.
Tidus: That's not funny.
Jecht: Well, then... I mean...you know. Let's end this.
Tidus: Dad?
Jecht: Yeah?
Tidus: I hate you.
Jecht: (Chuckles) I know, I know. You know what you have to do.
Tidus: Yeah.
And after the fight...
Jecht: You'll cry. You're gonna cry. You always cry. See? You're cryin'.
Tidus: I hate you, Dad.
But we know he means the opposite. Moments later, he says, still crying, "You know...for the first time, I'm glad...to have you as my father." This scene was hard to me because of my relationship with my own father, which isn't exactly positive most of the time... but I could really, really, really relate to the main character in this sense.
Then, E) Auron dies. We learned slightly earlier in the game that he was actually dead, but was holding onto the world of the living because of a promise he made to Tidus' father and Yuna's father, but now that the battle is over, he can let go of life finally.
Then, F) Tidus begins to disappear. He learned earlier, but didn't reveal to his friends, that his home of Zanarkand was actually a "dream" being summoned by the creator of Sin, but upon entering the real world he became real. Nonetheless, he will disappear along with the rest of Dream Zanarkand when Sin is truly defeated. After the battle, he begins disappearing, and Yuna is confused, shocked, and utterly, suddenly depressed, shaking her head. He apologizes for not being able to show her his Zanarkand and starts to walk away. She runs towards him, crying, but falls right through him. She gets up slowly as he continues to disappear, and she says "I love you." He walks to her and hugs her one last time, then jumps off of the ship, seeing Auron, Yuna's father, and his own father on the way down, giving him a high five, showing that he has truly reconciled.
Yuna is then shown practicing whistling (Tidus tought her to whistle earlier in the game), and then giving a speech to the people of Spira, ending it with, "The people and the friends that we have lost, or the dreams that have faded... Never forget them."
The scene where Tidus disappears reeeally hit me hard because I kept thinking of my own relationship with Elie, and how utterly and completely heart-wrenching it must be to lose a loved one like that, to watch them literally fade away before your own eyes. The emotional music didn't help. So yes, I cried at a video game. First time crying in six months, and it's at a video game ending.
I had more written, then somehow half of got deleted, so I cut it down and summarized a bit... my back hurts, I'm going to bed. I hope this is my last video game post for awhile. >_<
--Jon
Now that we've got that out of the way... Final Fantasy X. Definitely one of the saddest games I've played in my life, and one of the saddest stories I've ever heard. I'll give you a basic outline of the story and its world, but I'll save nasty details this time.
The story revolves around... Tidus, a guy who is initially lost in an unfamiliar world and searching for a way home... and Yuna, a girl attempting to save her world from an enormous city-sized death-machine of a beast known as Sin. They are accompanied by Wakka, a former athlete, Lulu, a black mage (both of them were childhood friends of Yuna), Kimahri, a quiet giant and lifetime guardian of Yuna, Auron, a man who seems to know both Tidus' world and this new world called Spira, and Rikku, Yuna's cousin who tries to kidnap her to prevent her pilgramage.
Final Fantasy X differs very slightly from the usual RPG archetype. In many Final Fantasies (and many games/movies in general), a "random Joe"-type character goes on a personal quest, joins other random Joes and Janes, and then ends up having to save the world. Not (quite) this game. Tidus, the main protagonist and narrator, just wants to get back to his homeworld of Zanarkand. Yuna is the party leader who is, from the get-go, on a quest to save the world. After travelling for a long time with Yuna and learning that in order to save the world she has to, in essence, kill herself, his mission no longer becomes to go home, but to save Yuna; saving the world is a convenient side-effect. Along his journey he finally realizes that he can't get back.
The world of Spira is plagued by an enormous city-sized (literal) beast known as Sin. It destroys entire villages for no reason, and according to the world religion, it is a punishment for vanity and other sins, which include use of "machina," forbidden machines. Of course, one people, the Al Bhed, ignore the teachings of Yevon and become outcasts. Sounds kinda fishy, eh? It is. Yevon ends up being a corrupt front for a thousand-year-old lust for power in the aftermath of a devastating world war. Sin is just the creation that came from wanting to find an ultimate weapon to get the upperhand in that war (note the similarities between this and World War II/the Cold War/atomic bomb (the game was made in Japan, thus far the only victim of the atomic bomb)).
This knowledge is not known to the majority of Spirans; very few actually know it. Summoners sacrifices their lives to defeat Sin, and then it is reborn. Sin is a "spiral of death" around which the world revolves (hence the name Spira). It rampages unchecked until a Summoner brings the "Calm" for a couple of years, and then it is reborn, "punishing" the world for its sins.
Tidus is from a city called Zanarkand separate from Spira, but when it is attacked by Sin, he is transported to this other world that seems totally alien to him, and he sort of tags along for the ride, accompanying Yuna on her pilgramage, whose endpoint is the ruins of a city dead for a thousand years: Zanarkand.
Tidus thought his father had died 10 years ago at sea, and before this, his father was am arrogant star athlete and teased him a lot, mostly about his crying. A lot of the game revolves around Tidus coming to terms with his father and accepting him, as he learns from Auron that his father truly loved him, but didn't know how to express it.
As one might be able to tell, much of the game also revolves around death. I'm getting sleepy and don't have much else to say about that.
There are several emotionally poignant points in this storyline. A) Tidus learns that his father has somehow become the latest Sin incarnate. B) Tidus learns that Yuna has to kill herself to save Spira (there ends up being another way, negating the corrupt world religion). C) After being labeled as traitors to Yevon, Yuna considers giving up her pilgramage, and talks with Tidus about all the things they can do, like go to his Zanarkand and just live life, but she then begins crying, and realizes, "I can't." As she softly sobs, Tidus embraces her and kisses her. [...then a bad J-Pop ballad plays and it's weird and awkward for awhile, but that's beside the point] D) Inside of Sin, before Tidus has to fight and defeat his own father, who he has come to hate over the years:
Jecht: You're late, Auron.
Auron: I know.
Jecht: (Turns and waves to Tidus) Hey.
Tidus: Hi.
Jecht: Hah! You got tall, but you're all bones! You eating right, boy?
Jecht: You've really grown.
Tidus: Yeah, but you're still bigger.
Jecht: Well, I am Sin, you know.
Tidus: That's not funny.
Jecht: Well, then... I mean...you know. Let's end this.
Tidus: Dad?
Jecht: Yeah?
Tidus: I hate you.
Jecht: (Chuckles) I know, I know. You know what you have to do.
Tidus: Yeah.
And after the fight...
Jecht: You'll cry. You're gonna cry. You always cry. See? You're cryin'.
Tidus: I hate you, Dad.
But we know he means the opposite. Moments later, he says, still crying, "You know...for the first time, I'm glad...to have you as my father." This scene was hard to me because of my relationship with my own father, which isn't exactly positive most of the time... but I could really, really, really relate to the main character in this sense.
Then, E) Auron dies. We learned slightly earlier in the game that he was actually dead, but was holding onto the world of the living because of a promise he made to Tidus' father and Yuna's father, but now that the battle is over, he can let go of life finally.
Then, F) Tidus begins to disappear. He learned earlier, but didn't reveal to his friends, that his home of Zanarkand was actually a "dream" being summoned by the creator of Sin, but upon entering the real world he became real. Nonetheless, he will disappear along with the rest of Dream Zanarkand when Sin is truly defeated. After the battle, he begins disappearing, and Yuna is confused, shocked, and utterly, suddenly depressed, shaking her head. He apologizes for not being able to show her his Zanarkand and starts to walk away. She runs towards him, crying, but falls right through him. She gets up slowly as he continues to disappear, and she says "I love you." He walks to her and hugs her one last time, then jumps off of the ship, seeing Auron, Yuna's father, and his own father on the way down, giving him a high five, showing that he has truly reconciled.
Yuna is then shown practicing whistling (Tidus tought her to whistle earlier in the game), and then giving a speech to the people of Spira, ending it with, "The people and the friends that we have lost, or the dreams that have faded... Never forget them."
The scene where Tidus disappears reeeally hit me hard because I kept thinking of my own relationship with Elie, and how utterly and completely heart-wrenching it must be to lose a loved one like that, to watch them literally fade away before your own eyes. The emotional music didn't help. So yes, I cried at a video game. First time crying in six months, and it's at a video game ending.
I had more written, then somehow half of got deleted, so I cut it down and summarized a bit... my back hurts, I'm going to bed. I hope this is my last video game post for awhile. >_<
--Jon
Summer School is Fun!
One girl actually excitedly exclaimed that summer school was loads of fun - which is great! - but weird...
I'm beginning to realize what an interesting group of kids I'm working with. I just ended that sentence with a preposition. As Dave told us in his last email, "I just ended that sentence with a preposition. Deal with it." But anyway, most, if not all, of the kids have some kind of learning disability or need for special ed. Furthermore, most of them cannot do simple math problems, even at the 7th and 8th grade level. I know there must be kids all over the place with these issues and who are so far behind, but I don't think there's any reason why so many kids are this far behind. The math they're struggling with in middle school is what I learned in elementary school - adding and subtracting whole numbers and decimals, and multiplying, adding, and subtracting fractions. These are the basic building blocks of math that these kids cannot grasp. If they can't get a handle on all of this, they'll go onto high school with this sever disability in their math reasoning. And it's not like this school is in a ghetto; it's in the middle of a prospering little town, and the school has the ways and means (and funds) to teach these kids well; it just doesn't happen.
Luckily for them (or unluckily), Elma High School is in such poor shape (as far as education goes) that few students are challenged. Okay, so maybe that's a generality, but now I understand why the Elma School District is so far behind. What I want to know is how this happened in the first place. Maybe it's the teachers' faults. The teacher I'm working with is actually decent. She's not bad at all, really- from what I can tell, anyway. In one of the classrooms (not belonging to any of the teachers of summer school) there was a piece of paper with the rules of how to use the classroom library and she wrote "you're" instead of the correct "your." I think it's these little things here and there that the kids just don't learn that puts them at such a disadvantage.
Now it just sounds like I'm complaining. I'm still incredibly grateful that I'm in the position I'm in, and I know I'll have a small opportunity to help these kids, because the teacher and I can work with them one-on-one. The bad part is that I'm stuck in a math classroom; I want to observe in the other classrooms, but I'll look into doing so in a few weeks.
--Elie
P.S. I ordered a custom-made clarinet mouth piece AND a fancy ligature. The good news is that this mouth piece/ligature combo will make me sound loads better, and I basically made what I just spent by being in various musical groups, so I don't feel too guilty for spending well over $200 on clarinet accessories. Now I need to order new reeds and a reed case and maybe a new clarinet case if my mouthpiece won't fit. Argh. Good thing I've got a steady job of volunteering.
I'm beginning to realize what an interesting group of kids I'm working with. I just ended that sentence with a preposition. As Dave told us in his last email, "I just ended that sentence with a preposition. Deal with it." But anyway, most, if not all, of the kids have some kind of learning disability or need for special ed. Furthermore, most of them cannot do simple math problems, even at the 7th and 8th grade level. I know there must be kids all over the place with these issues and who are so far behind, but I don't think there's any reason why so many kids are this far behind. The math they're struggling with in middle school is what I learned in elementary school - adding and subtracting whole numbers and decimals, and multiplying, adding, and subtracting fractions. These are the basic building blocks of math that these kids cannot grasp. If they can't get a handle on all of this, they'll go onto high school with this sever disability in their math reasoning. And it's not like this school is in a ghetto; it's in the middle of a prospering little town, and the school has the ways and means (and funds) to teach these kids well; it just doesn't happen.
Luckily for them (or unluckily), Elma High School is in such poor shape (as far as education goes) that few students are challenged. Okay, so maybe that's a generality, but now I understand why the Elma School District is so far behind. What I want to know is how this happened in the first place. Maybe it's the teachers' faults. The teacher I'm working with is actually decent. She's not bad at all, really- from what I can tell, anyway. In one of the classrooms (not belonging to any of the teachers of summer school) there was a piece of paper with the rules of how to use the classroom library and she wrote "you're" instead of the correct "your." I think it's these little things here and there that the kids just don't learn that puts them at such a disadvantage.
Now it just sounds like I'm complaining. I'm still incredibly grateful that I'm in the position I'm in, and I know I'll have a small opportunity to help these kids, because the teacher and I can work with them one-on-one. The bad part is that I'm stuck in a math classroom; I want to observe in the other classrooms, but I'll look into doing so in a few weeks.
--Elie
P.S. I ordered a custom-made clarinet mouth piece AND a fancy ligature. The good news is that this mouth piece/ligature combo will make me sound loads better, and I basically made what I just spent by being in various musical groups, so I don't feel too guilty for spending well over $200 on clarinet accessories. Now I need to order new reeds and a reed case and maybe a new clarinet case if my mouthpiece won't fit. Argh. Good thing I've got a steady job of volunteering.
Monday, June 22, 2009
I've Come to Realize...
Especially after receiving the WEST-B scores today, I've come to realize that Jon is quite a bit more intelligent than me. A few years ago, I wouldn't have been annoyed by the fact that I was dating someone intellectually superior, but now I'm glad for this. It's no fun being around someone who is less intelligent than you in everything. And I'm sure Jon will argue with me, but I know what I've said is true, and I am honestly proud to be the girlfriend of such a smart guy. :) Oh, and it's also ironic that Jon's dad put such emphasis on me being smart. Sure, I'm smart, but Jon's smarterer. Yeah, smarterer.
Although the WEST-B kind of got the best of me due to my less-than-desirable scores, it's concerning to me that people actually fail this test and then become teachers. Mind you, they've got to pass the test before becoming a teacher, but many people said they've had to re-take it. Yikes.
I've also come to realize that there is really no need for Jon and I to have a joint blog. We could do the exact same thing with two different accounts. But having a joint blog makes everything more exciting. We're attached at the hip anyway, so there's no reason our blogs should be separate, right?
My name is now Ms. Hartman. It is weird, let me tell you. In the last blog entry I wrote, I mentioned that this opportunity of working in a middle school would either make or break my ambition to become a teacher. Thus far, I've loved it. It wasn't fantastic or anything, but I enjoyed myself and I succeeded, at least a little. The teachers/staff treat me like an equal and the students treat me like an adult, which is hard to understand. It's difficult for me to not be at their level and be their friend; I'm their teacher now. I've got to keep reminding myself of this. It's a difficult transition to make, going from a kid myself to being superior to these kids who aren't a whole lot younger than me.
As I looked around the classroom and at the middle schoolers and at the teacher, I pictured myself teaching the class - and doing better than the teacher. I'm not being unnecessarily critical; I like the woman I'm working with and I respect her, but there are a few things here and there that I would change if I were in her position. The sad thing is that last year was her first year teaching, and she got booted due to budget cuts. Even so, she isn't openly bitter about it (although she mentioned it to me like a dozen times), and she treats the kids well although she won't be working with them again or in the near future.
Observing and helping in that classroom today made me realize how much work it takes to be a teacher and how mentally draining it is. I was there for a little over 3 hours and I was exhausted at the end, and I wasn't even leading the class. Part of my problem is that it takes a great deal of mental strength for me to dive into a new situation and confront new people - even young children - and it was a mental struggle to simply go up to a kid who looked ticked off at being forced to attend summer school and do his assignment. Once I did confront those kids - or any of them, for that matter - I was greatly rewarded because I felt like I was getting through to them.
I also pride myself in getting through to them because all these kids need extra help because they didn't succeed during the regular school year; these kids are the ones most likely to fall through the cracks, but I'm getting through to them!
I understand why so many people say that middle schoolers are the hardest to handle. They have loads of energy and they're very immature most of the time, but that energy can be put to great use. I don't feel as though the particular math class I'm in (which teaches 6th, 7th, and 8th graders) will test them to apply themselves, which is why I want to explore the social studies and English classes that I wasn't placed in. With so many people telling me that teaching middle school was a death wish, I was beginning to get scared, but I think I can do it. I can't right now, of course, but I could probably handle the kids I'm dealing with now, because there aren't more than two dozen kids in each class at a time. The thought of managing a classroom of 30 of these kids for 5 or 6 periods a day is daunting, but I'm confident that, with training, experience, and time, I'll gain the necessary tools to deal with this sort of situation.
I'm truly lucky to have gotten this position, even though I'm in a math class and not in English or social studies, because it's giving me a great opportunity to observe a teacher and work first hand with the kinds of kids I'll be working with in the future. Mind you, the Elma School District is known to be a ways behind the standard level they're supposed to be at (half of the school fails the WASL each year), but they still need to be challenged, and maybe they'll get that opportunity this summer, and maybe not. But overall, this opportunity is a terrific resume booster, and I'm excited to go back tomorrow.
--Elie
Although the WEST-B kind of got the best of me due to my less-than-desirable scores, it's concerning to me that people actually fail this test and then become teachers. Mind you, they've got to pass the test before becoming a teacher, but many people said they've had to re-take it. Yikes.
I've also come to realize that there is really no need for Jon and I to have a joint blog. We could do the exact same thing with two different accounts. But having a joint blog makes everything more exciting. We're attached at the hip anyway, so there's no reason our blogs should be separate, right?
My name is now Ms. Hartman. It is weird, let me tell you. In the last blog entry I wrote, I mentioned that this opportunity of working in a middle school would either make or break my ambition to become a teacher. Thus far, I've loved it. It wasn't fantastic or anything, but I enjoyed myself and I succeeded, at least a little. The teachers/staff treat me like an equal and the students treat me like an adult, which is hard to understand. It's difficult for me to not be at their level and be their friend; I'm their teacher now. I've got to keep reminding myself of this. It's a difficult transition to make, going from a kid myself to being superior to these kids who aren't a whole lot younger than me.
As I looked around the classroom and at the middle schoolers and at the teacher, I pictured myself teaching the class - and doing better than the teacher. I'm not being unnecessarily critical; I like the woman I'm working with and I respect her, but there are a few things here and there that I would change if I were in her position. The sad thing is that last year was her first year teaching, and she got booted due to budget cuts. Even so, she isn't openly bitter about it (although she mentioned it to me like a dozen times), and she treats the kids well although she won't be working with them again or in the near future.
Observing and helping in that classroom today made me realize how much work it takes to be a teacher and how mentally draining it is. I was there for a little over 3 hours and I was exhausted at the end, and I wasn't even leading the class. Part of my problem is that it takes a great deal of mental strength for me to dive into a new situation and confront new people - even young children - and it was a mental struggle to simply go up to a kid who looked ticked off at being forced to attend summer school and do his assignment. Once I did confront those kids - or any of them, for that matter - I was greatly rewarded because I felt like I was getting through to them.
I also pride myself in getting through to them because all these kids need extra help because they didn't succeed during the regular school year; these kids are the ones most likely to fall through the cracks, but I'm getting through to them!
I understand why so many people say that middle schoolers are the hardest to handle. They have loads of energy and they're very immature most of the time, but that energy can be put to great use. I don't feel as though the particular math class I'm in (which teaches 6th, 7th, and 8th graders) will test them to apply themselves, which is why I want to explore the social studies and English classes that I wasn't placed in. With so many people telling me that teaching middle school was a death wish, I was beginning to get scared, but I think I can do it. I can't right now, of course, but I could probably handle the kids I'm dealing with now, because there aren't more than two dozen kids in each class at a time. The thought of managing a classroom of 30 of these kids for 5 or 6 periods a day is daunting, but I'm confident that, with training, experience, and time, I'll gain the necessary tools to deal with this sort of situation.
I'm truly lucky to have gotten this position, even though I'm in a math class and not in English or social studies, because it's giving me a great opportunity to observe a teacher and work first hand with the kinds of kids I'll be working with in the future. Mind you, the Elma School District is known to be a ways behind the standard level they're supposed to be at (half of the school fails the WASL each year), but they still need to be challenged, and maybe they'll get that opportunity this summer, and maybe not. But overall, this opportunity is a terrific resume booster, and I'm excited to go back tomorrow.
--Elie
Sunday, June 21, 2009
I Need to Write Something
So - summer. Argh. When did that happen? Actually, today is officially the first day of summer, and it's windy and rather cold. Needless to say, this is not summer weather.
Let's back up. My parents picked me up from Western and on the way home I found out that Heidi had died a few days before. Being home in general made (and continues) to make me feel trapped and restricted, and in addition to Heidi's death and leaving Jon, I fell into a depression. Luckily, I was needed to work at Fair Portia, so I was able to escape and work all day from Tuesday until Friday.
After working for Coffee News, I've come to realize how much I love working at Fair Portia. I love who I work with and I love what I do, even if it makes my back hurt more than anything. Jewelry-making doesn't my back hurt, mind you. That'd be weird. It's the sitting and slouching that makes it hurt. Anyway, I love being there and, for once, I can't wait to get back.
On Friday I received conformation that I'm volunteering at Elma Middle School for their summer school. I'm going to be a teacher! ...sort of. I'm actually not sure what I'll be doing, but it looks like I'll be in a classroom with one other teacher. I don't know how many kids will be there, and I don't know what to expect with the kids. All I know is that Elma is not well-known for their scholarly students, but I'm going into this situation with an open mind so I can embrace these middle schoolers and expect the best of them. I start tomorrow morning, and I need to be there at 7:30 AM for the staff meeting. I'm nervous but also excited. I'm always nervous when I'm starting something new, but this is something different; I want to be a middle school teacher, and if I can't stand working at this summer school, I'll know that this job isn't for me, so I'm afraid that I'll have to change my entire view of what I want to do with my life, but I'm not too worried. I know this will be an incredible learning experience.
It'll also be interesting to see how the staff accepts me since I've managed to avoid the Elma school district. When the principal asked me where I went to high school and I told him I went to Capital, there was a long, awkward silence, because very, very few McCleary students don't pass through Elma High for at least a year before dropping out.
As the Elma Middle School principal talked to me about the dress code, I began to realize that I didn't have many articles of nice clothing, only street clothes with a few very dressy skirts and shirts that are used for band performances. And since I'm smaller than most middle schoolers, I'll blend right in unless I dress differently. My mom and I had an Olympia adventure yesterday and we bought some nice shirts and blouses and a few pairs of dress pants, as the only decent pair of pants I own are some tattered black pants I converted to marching pants in high school. I'm already feeling more confident about going into the school tomorrow and pretending that I'm a teacher because I'll at least look the part - I hope. It's all new to me, though, to dress up all the time, but it's necessary for this position, I think. Then I'll probably go to Fair Portia right after summer school tomorrow and sit in a bunch of dust, metal shards, and sequins. :)
I've also fallen in love with Jason Mraz (sorry, Jon). Okay, so maybe I don't love him, but I like his music a whole lot. Gina has three CDs of his at Fair Portia, so I asked to borrow them, and I burned a copy of them all. I wouldn't have been thrilled to pay for the CDs because I only like select songs on each album, but I like those select songs a lot. I'm always excited to find new artists, even if Jon doesn't like them. But, as I recall, he liked a few songs of Jason Mraz he listened to, so THERE.
With all these activities happening around me, I'm doing a lot better, but I still miss Jon a whole lot. But we Squirrel Baggers will be reunited sooner than later.
--Elie
Let's back up. My parents picked me up from Western and on the way home I found out that Heidi had died a few days before. Being home in general made (and continues) to make me feel trapped and restricted, and in addition to Heidi's death and leaving Jon, I fell into a depression. Luckily, I was needed to work at Fair Portia, so I was able to escape and work all day from Tuesday until Friday.
After working for Coffee News, I've come to realize how much I love working at Fair Portia. I love who I work with and I love what I do, even if it makes my back hurt more than anything. Jewelry-making doesn't my back hurt, mind you. That'd be weird. It's the sitting and slouching that makes it hurt. Anyway, I love being there and, for once, I can't wait to get back.
On Friday I received conformation that I'm volunteering at Elma Middle School for their summer school. I'm going to be a teacher! ...sort of. I'm actually not sure what I'll be doing, but it looks like I'll be in a classroom with one other teacher. I don't know how many kids will be there, and I don't know what to expect with the kids. All I know is that Elma is not well-known for their scholarly students, but I'm going into this situation with an open mind so I can embrace these middle schoolers and expect the best of them. I start tomorrow morning, and I need to be there at 7:30 AM for the staff meeting. I'm nervous but also excited. I'm always nervous when I'm starting something new, but this is something different; I want to be a middle school teacher, and if I can't stand working at this summer school, I'll know that this job isn't for me, so I'm afraid that I'll have to change my entire view of what I want to do with my life, but I'm not too worried. I know this will be an incredible learning experience.
It'll also be interesting to see how the staff accepts me since I've managed to avoid the Elma school district. When the principal asked me where I went to high school and I told him I went to Capital, there was a long, awkward silence, because very, very few McCleary students don't pass through Elma High for at least a year before dropping out.
As the Elma Middle School principal talked to me about the dress code, I began to realize that I didn't have many articles of nice clothing, only street clothes with a few very dressy skirts and shirts that are used for band performances. And since I'm smaller than most middle schoolers, I'll blend right in unless I dress differently. My mom and I had an Olympia adventure yesterday and we bought some nice shirts and blouses and a few pairs of dress pants, as the only decent pair of pants I own are some tattered black pants I converted to marching pants in high school. I'm already feeling more confident about going into the school tomorrow and pretending that I'm a teacher because I'll at least look the part - I hope. It's all new to me, though, to dress up all the time, but it's necessary for this position, I think. Then I'll probably go to Fair Portia right after summer school tomorrow and sit in a bunch of dust, metal shards, and sequins. :)
I've also fallen in love with Jason Mraz (sorry, Jon). Okay, so maybe I don't love him, but I like his music a whole lot. Gina has three CDs of his at Fair Portia, so I asked to borrow them, and I burned a copy of them all. I wouldn't have been thrilled to pay for the CDs because I only like select songs on each album, but I like those select songs a lot. I'm always excited to find new artists, even if Jon doesn't like them. But, as I recall, he liked a few songs of Jason Mraz he listened to, so THERE.
With all these activities happening around me, I'm doing a lot better, but I still miss Jon a whole lot. But we Squirrel Baggers will be reunited sooner than later.
--Elie
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
"Final Fantasy VII" Needs a Remake
I just watched Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. This is essentially a CGI movie sequel to Final Fantasy VII, one of the most critically acclaimed video games of all time. While I would summarize a review of Advent Children with "Meh" (to elaborate: far too much Dragonball Z-ish fighting, a rather contrived and unrewarding storyline, empty character cameos), it made me realize, more than ever, that the original truly does need to be remade.
When Final Fantasy VII was released for the Sony PlayStation in 1997, it was praised for its (for the time) breathtaking graphics, grasping story, dynamic characters, and enrapturing gameplay, among other factors. It also brought role-playing games, a genre that was relatively unpopular outside of Japan, to a worldwide audience. Unfortunately, the game also had many downfalls that are often overlooked by hardcore fans.
While some scattered visuals have aged rather well, the majority of the in-game graphics are ridiculously boxy and dated-looking. All of the basic designs from the original game could probably be kept if they wanted to be lazy, while just updating the graphics to the level seen in the PS3 tech demo that was made out of the intro to FF7. Of course, some of the major designs (Midgar's basic landscape, the Highwind, etc.) should be kept the same without a doubt, but other aspects of the original ("dungeons" (inside of mako reactors, caves, etc.), minor characters, towns, etc.) could be completely overhauled to be made more interesting for veterans and newcomers alike. In fact, that in and of itself should be a major point of a remake; making things more interesting. Some of the areas' layouts in the original game really didn't make too much sense, or were just overly weird; I think a lot of this came from trying to get Square, who was used to making games in 2 dimensions, to adapt to a 3-dimensional world. Obviously, they've adapted by now, and could do a lot with a FF7 remake. A lot of the original was rather visually bland, and this could be totally fixed with an update of graphics and of layouts and designs.
Translation and script issues were also a major problem in the game. The storyline, which is quite complex, was made even more confusing due to bad translations that often made for awkward dialogue and gaping plotholes. This would be the easiest fix in a remake. However, rather than just updating the dialogue, Square Enix could also make the storyline more seamless, in terms of itself and of the various games that have been made that connect to the original game.
One of the best things about Advent Children is that they were able to take the characters of the game and give them natural voices. They would, of course, have to carry this over to a remake. I'm sure they could get many of the same voice-actors, not that that matters too much. Making realistic spoken dialogue is important, though.
Final Fantasy VII was full of mini-games and side-quests, and all of these could be updated and expanded upon, but they could even add more. The battle system could also be updated; especially after the release of Final Fantasy XIII, gamers won't want to play a traditional turn-based RPG. In fact, the FF13 battle system could easily be adapted to FF7.
What I find by far to be FF7 fans' most ignored flaw of the original are some of the deep themes that are only briefly touched upon in the game. Corporate corruption, genetic engineering, the limits of science, spirituality, and, most directly, environmentalism are all manifested in various ways in the game, and these themes are still just as (if not more) relevant today as they were in 1997. Were they to remake the game, I'm sure they could use the aforementioned revisions to really put in some social commentary that was so often hinted at in the original game.
In short, Square-Enix is looking at a gold-mine with a remake of Final Fantasy VII. It was enormously popular when it was originally released, and it would be made more popular in this day and age with all the mystique that surrounds it. If gamers still play the original, chock-full of gross graphics and horrid dialogue, imagine how many would play a remake, especially if it had a multi-platform release and all the features I've mentioned here, as well as less obvious and subtle improvements. Square-Enix is STUPID if they ignore an opportunity like this. They already have made a fortune, and they could make another fortune if they remake it.
When Final Fantasy VII was released for the Sony PlayStation in 1997, it was praised for its (for the time) breathtaking graphics, grasping story, dynamic characters, and enrapturing gameplay, among other factors. It also brought role-playing games, a genre that was relatively unpopular outside of Japan, to a worldwide audience. Unfortunately, the game also had many downfalls that are often overlooked by hardcore fans.
While some scattered visuals have aged rather well, the majority of the in-game graphics are ridiculously boxy and dated-looking. All of the basic designs from the original game could probably be kept if they wanted to be lazy, while just updating the graphics to the level seen in the PS3 tech demo that was made out of the intro to FF7. Of course, some of the major designs (Midgar's basic landscape, the Highwind, etc.) should be kept the same without a doubt, but other aspects of the original ("dungeons" (inside of mako reactors, caves, etc.), minor characters, towns, etc.) could be completely overhauled to be made more interesting for veterans and newcomers alike. In fact, that in and of itself should be a major point of a remake; making things more interesting. Some of the areas' layouts in the original game really didn't make too much sense, or were just overly weird; I think a lot of this came from trying to get Square, who was used to making games in 2 dimensions, to adapt to a 3-dimensional world. Obviously, they've adapted by now, and could do a lot with a FF7 remake. A lot of the original was rather visually bland, and this could be totally fixed with an update of graphics and of layouts and designs.
Translation and script issues were also a major problem in the game. The storyline, which is quite complex, was made even more confusing due to bad translations that often made for awkward dialogue and gaping plotholes. This would be the easiest fix in a remake. However, rather than just updating the dialogue, Square Enix could also make the storyline more seamless, in terms of itself and of the various games that have been made that connect to the original game.
One of the best things about Advent Children is that they were able to take the characters of the game and give them natural voices. They would, of course, have to carry this over to a remake. I'm sure they could get many of the same voice-actors, not that that matters too much. Making realistic spoken dialogue is important, though.
Final Fantasy VII was full of mini-games and side-quests, and all of these could be updated and expanded upon, but they could even add more. The battle system could also be updated; especially after the release of Final Fantasy XIII, gamers won't want to play a traditional turn-based RPG. In fact, the FF13 battle system could easily be adapted to FF7.
What I find by far to be FF7 fans' most ignored flaw of the original are some of the deep themes that are only briefly touched upon in the game. Corporate corruption, genetic engineering, the limits of science, spirituality, and, most directly, environmentalism are all manifested in various ways in the game, and these themes are still just as (if not more) relevant today as they were in 1997. Were they to remake the game, I'm sure they could use the aforementioned revisions to really put in some social commentary that was so often hinted at in the original game.
In short, Square-Enix is looking at a gold-mine with a remake of Final Fantasy VII. It was enormously popular when it was originally released, and it would be made more popular in this day and age with all the mystique that surrounds it. If gamers still play the original, chock-full of gross graphics and horrid dialogue, imagine how many would play a remake, especially if it had a multi-platform release and all the features I've mentioned here, as well as less obvious and subtle improvements. Square-Enix is STUPID if they ignore an opportunity like this. They already have made a fortune, and they could make another fortune if they remake it.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Summer Thus Far
Thursday: Awful. Had to say bye to Elie after two crappy finals. It came way too quickly. Then my dad tortured me on the way home. The new Eagles album is terrible. When I got home I got to play Shadow of the Colossus finally, though. It's great. I think I've defeated five out of fifteen colossi thus far.
Friday: Got my work schedule. Met Isaac and Ashiyah and Robbie and Laura a couple others at the Buzz briefly, then met Isaac at his house and hung out there for awhile. He showed me a book called Finnegans Wake (no apostrophe), which was weird as all hell. Look it up on Wikipedia. We showed each other some music and some YouTube videos. Then I went home for awhile. Then I went to the SHS '09 graduation. It was pretty cool. They got a total of $2.4 million in scholarships! Including one person who got a full ride to Yale, and another who got a full ride to Notre Dame. Ridiculous. Afterwards, many hugs were had with many people. Then, I went to a bonfire at Makaela's, which was relatively low-key, which I liked. We watched Yes Man, which was far better than I thought it'd be. Not just Liar Liar 2.
Saturday: I think I played Final Fantasy X and Shadow of the Colossus most of the day. Then I hung out with Jordan and Makaela at Applebee's that night, rented Dead Alive, watched it at Makaela's with Emma, her friend Max, Jaiden and some friends, and Nick Grinell, who happened to be picking up his brother who happens to be friends with Jaiden.
Sunday: First day back at work! Rather uneventful and slow. Only five hours. Worked with Gabe and Garrett. Talked video games much of the time. Garrett gave me a leftover piece of his Subway pizza, for which I was quite thankful. My dad barbecued and I played some more FFX. That night, I went over to Jonathan's and watched The Office [season 4] with him and Kira. We realized that the next day was National Man Day, and Jonathan and I had much rejoicing.
Monday: Mom woke me up at 7 because the internet guy was coming to install internet. He came about 9ish I think. I'm super sleepy. BUT I HAVE INTERNET. Tried recording some stuff and my computer was being weird so I gave up for today. Called Elie, which I've been doing every day. I miss her a lottttttt. Squirrel Baggers United is not terribly united most of this summer. :( But we are at heart, as always! Tonight, my mom and I are getting pizza. Huzzah! Uhhh... that's about it.
I think I will write analyses of FFX and SotC when I finish them.
--Jon
Friday: Got my work schedule. Met Isaac and Ashiyah and Robbie and Laura a couple others at the Buzz briefly, then met Isaac at his house and hung out there for awhile. He showed me a book called Finnegans Wake (no apostrophe), which was weird as all hell. Look it up on Wikipedia. We showed each other some music and some YouTube videos. Then I went home for awhile. Then I went to the SHS '09 graduation. It was pretty cool. They got a total of $2.4 million in scholarships! Including one person who got a full ride to Yale, and another who got a full ride to Notre Dame. Ridiculous. Afterwards, many hugs were had with many people. Then, I went to a bonfire at Makaela's, which was relatively low-key, which I liked. We watched Yes Man, which was far better than I thought it'd be. Not just Liar Liar 2.
Saturday: I think I played Final Fantasy X and Shadow of the Colossus most of the day. Then I hung out with Jordan and Makaela at Applebee's that night, rented Dead Alive, watched it at Makaela's with Emma, her friend Max, Jaiden and some friends, and Nick Grinell, who happened to be picking up his brother who happens to be friends with Jaiden.
Sunday: First day back at work! Rather uneventful and slow. Only five hours. Worked with Gabe and Garrett. Talked video games much of the time. Garrett gave me a leftover piece of his Subway pizza, for which I was quite thankful. My dad barbecued and I played some more FFX. That night, I went over to Jonathan's and watched The Office [season 4] with him and Kira. We realized that the next day was National Man Day, and Jonathan and I had much rejoicing.
Monday: Mom woke me up at 7 because the internet guy was coming to install internet. He came about 9ish I think. I'm super sleepy. BUT I HAVE INTERNET. Tried recording some stuff and my computer was being weird so I gave up for today. Called Elie, which I've been doing every day. I miss her a lottttttt. Squirrel Baggers United is not terribly united most of this summer. :( But we are at heart, as always! Tonight, my mom and I are getting pizza. Huzzah! Uhhh... that's about it.
I think I will write analyses of FFX and SotC when I finish them.
--Jon
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I Be Missing You
Saying goodbye is difficult.
It hasn't sunk in yet that I won't see Jon for several weeks. Like, it just seems like he's a 15 minute walk away because I'm still in Higginson. Therefore, he should still be in Buchanan Towers, right? Ug, I don't like this feeling.
--Elie
It hasn't sunk in yet that I won't see Jon for several weeks. Like, it just seems like he's a 15 minute walk away because I'm still in Higginson. Therefore, he should still be in Buchanan Towers, right? Ug, I don't like this feeling.
--Elie
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
John Lennon
For the past few days, I've been glued to Cynthia Lennon's John, a biography she recently wrote about her ex-husband, the infamous John Lennon. For the first half of the book, I was surprised how great of a boyfriend and husband John was. I had this idea that he was physically and verbally abusive, but that was rarely the case. I have no doubt that John and Cynthia were very much in love (and Cynthia clams to contine to love John even today). John also loved his son Julian, although he wasn't the greatest father. He vowed over and over to change, though rarely did. Overall, however, he was a decent father until he met Yoko. Then he was a complete bastard to Cynthia and Julian, and that's when I lost respect for him.
He had affairs with Yoko while trying to hide it from Cynthia and he even sent her away on a vacation so he could send a spy after her so that the spy could claim that Cynthia was having an affair so that John would have a reason to divorce her, even though he was having an affair with Yoko. (Run on sentance much?) Cynthia was completely logical and kind in the way she dealt with John and the divorce, and he continued to break her heart and Julian's. While he was writing songs like "Imagine," "Power to the People," and "Give Peace a Chance," he was ignoring Julian and Cynthia and pretending they didn't exist while refusing to give them much money while they scarped by. Just as Cynthia was beginning to be friends once again with John, he was shot and was unable to resolve the issues with his wife and child.
Furthermore, Yoko was (and probably still is) a horrible, horrible woman. She used Julian for publicity after John died, when, before John's death, she excluded him from her family and told Cynthia that Julian was a misbehaved child. She was cold to Cynthia and didn't allow her to talk to John much at all. When John died, she refused to give Julian the one guitar of John's that he asked for and instead gave it to Sean (her son by John, Julian's half-brother whom he loved), along with all of John's recording equipment.
For the last 6 years of John's life, he kept a diary and willed it to Julian if anything were to happen to John. Yoko refused to give it to Julian and still has it today. She also refuses to give Julian the money that was willed to him by John, because she is the legal co-signer. In the early 2000s, Cynthia was helping to organize a benefit concert in John's memory and she asked Yoko to give her word that she approved and to be friendly at last. Yoko refused and told the press that Cynthia was only trying to get money from the concert for herself, when, in fact, the concert's proceeds were for various charities. That concert was forced to cancel due to that rumor. And then Yoko organized her own concert in John's memory with the same title, "Come Together" as the concert that Cynthia was helping to organize.
Lastly, as Julian released a great album of which he was very proud, Sean released his own album on the same date which was clearly a conspiracy of Yoko and Sean against Julian. It was disappointing to know that Yoko is, to say the last, a wicked woman, and John's last few decades of his life were lived in hypocrisy: preaching peace, love, and understanding while he abandoned his wife and child.
I have a new-found respect for Cynthia Lennon, as she remained strong throughout the whole ordeal while she was treated poorly from John, his Aunt Mimi, and Yoko. She seems to be a genuinly kind person who, at the end of her book, said that, had she know of her future, she wouldn't have dated John as a young teenager so she could have avoided the many years of pain that have followed her because of her relationship with John Lennon. Throughout the entire section of her divorce with John, I cried, because Cynthia went through so much pain and torment, yet she never ceased to love John, even when she realized she would never take him back. All she wanted was to be on good terms with him so that Julian could know his father. Her love for her son is astounding, and Julian is incredibly lucky to have such a spectacular mother.
--Elie
He had affairs with Yoko while trying to hide it from Cynthia and he even sent her away on a vacation so he could send a spy after her so that the spy could claim that Cynthia was having an affair so that John would have a reason to divorce her, even though he was having an affair with Yoko. (Run on sentance much?) Cynthia was completely logical and kind in the way she dealt with John and the divorce, and he continued to break her heart and Julian's. While he was writing songs like "Imagine," "Power to the People," and "Give Peace a Chance," he was ignoring Julian and Cynthia and pretending they didn't exist while refusing to give them much money while they scarped by. Just as Cynthia was beginning to be friends once again with John, he was shot and was unable to resolve the issues with his wife and child.
Furthermore, Yoko was (and probably still is) a horrible, horrible woman. She used Julian for publicity after John died, when, before John's death, she excluded him from her family and told Cynthia that Julian was a misbehaved child. She was cold to Cynthia and didn't allow her to talk to John much at all. When John died, she refused to give Julian the one guitar of John's that he asked for and instead gave it to Sean (her son by John, Julian's half-brother whom he loved), along with all of John's recording equipment.
For the last 6 years of John's life, he kept a diary and willed it to Julian if anything were to happen to John. Yoko refused to give it to Julian and still has it today. She also refuses to give Julian the money that was willed to him by John, because she is the legal co-signer. In the early 2000s, Cynthia was helping to organize a benefit concert in John's memory and she asked Yoko to give her word that she approved and to be friendly at last. Yoko refused and told the press that Cynthia was only trying to get money from the concert for herself, when, in fact, the concert's proceeds were for various charities. That concert was forced to cancel due to that rumor. And then Yoko organized her own concert in John's memory with the same title, "Come Together" as the concert that Cynthia was helping to organize.
Lastly, as Julian released a great album of which he was very proud, Sean released his own album on the same date which was clearly a conspiracy of Yoko and Sean against Julian. It was disappointing to know that Yoko is, to say the last, a wicked woman, and John's last few decades of his life were lived in hypocrisy: preaching peace, love, and understanding while he abandoned his wife and child.
I have a new-found respect for Cynthia Lennon, as she remained strong throughout the whole ordeal while she was treated poorly from John, his Aunt Mimi, and Yoko. She seems to be a genuinly kind person who, at the end of her book, said that, had she know of her future, she wouldn't have dated John as a young teenager so she could have avoided the many years of pain that have followed her because of her relationship with John Lennon. Throughout the entire section of her divorce with John, I cried, because Cynthia went through so much pain and torment, yet she never ceased to love John, even when she realized she would never take him back. All she wanted was to be on good terms with him so that Julian could know his father. Her love for her son is astounding, and Julian is incredibly lucky to have such a spectacular mother.
--Elie
Dear Marines/School's End
Marines are soldiers, by definition. Get off your high horse, get over yourselves, and get over it. I'm sorry, but I just can't stand the arrogance. I don't care if you've saved lives or served this country for 50 gajillion years. If you're really heroes then you're not going to yell to the sky calling yourselves as such, and you're not going to go around and throw an enormous pissy fit every time someone calls you a "soldier" instead of "Marine" with a capital "M."
So, freshman year of college = almost over. 'Twas an awesome year! My dad and others like to say people develop work habits and personality traits and such in high school. While I suppose this is true, I feel like college was a pretty intense sifter of personality traits far more important than high school. Now that I think about it, I think most of what I still believe today began in high school, but coming here and learning things and etc really humbled me and matured me I think. If that makes sense. I'm happy with who I'm becoming. I'm excited for what the future may hold. I have new perspectives, and I hope to gain more of those. Also, I've gained a shitload of tolerance having lived with the guy I've shared this tiny-ass room with since Fall quarter.
Also, Elie did better than she thinks she did; I listened to Laura High play a French horn solo and she did rather poorly. And it was slow, and she kept having to stop at one part. And she's an upper-classman. Also, I love zombies, so if Elie were a zombie I'd still love her. :D In any case, she needs to remember that other people mess up badly, too, no matter how badly she thinks she messed up. It's weird referring to her in the third person when I'm more or less addressing her directly.
Two more days in Bellingham. *sigh* What else to say? I'm going to miss this place and its people, but I really have to try to make the most of my situation(s) this summer. If I keep focusing on that, I'll be fine, I think.
--Jon
So, freshman year of college = almost over. 'Twas an awesome year! My dad and others like to say people develop work habits and personality traits and such in high school. While I suppose this is true, I feel like college was a pretty intense sifter of personality traits far more important than high school. Now that I think about it, I think most of what I still believe today began in high school, but coming here and learning things and etc really humbled me and matured me I think. If that makes sense. I'm happy with who I'm becoming. I'm excited for what the future may hold. I have new perspectives, and I hope to gain more of those. Also, I've gained a shitload of tolerance having lived with the guy I've shared this tiny-ass room with since Fall quarter.
Also, Elie did better than she thinks she did; I listened to Laura High play a French horn solo and she did rather poorly. And it was slow, and she kept having to stop at one part. And she's an upper-classman. Also, I love zombies, so if Elie were a zombie I'd still love her. :D In any case, she needs to remember that other people mess up badly, too, no matter how badly she thinks she messed up. It's weird referring to her in the third person when I'm more or less addressing her directly.
Two more days in Bellingham. *sigh* What else to say? I'm going to miss this place and its people, but I really have to try to make the most of my situation(s) this summer. If I keep focusing on that, I'll be fine, I think.
--Jon
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Music and that Sort of Stuff
A week or so ago I auditioned to be in pep band so that I'll get paid to play. But I'd have to be there for every home volleyball and basketball game. It sucks away time like none other, to say the least. Well, I got in - one of two clarinetists. The other is a soon-to-be senior clarinet performance major/my friend. So it should be fun and it'll keep me more busy than I want to be, but I can't do something half-way. So I'm officially a "hard core" band member. Essentially, I've sold my soul to the music department, but I'm pretty happy about it.
I had my first clarinet jury today. It sucked. Bad. I was feeling really good about the music in general because I could play it very well in the practice room. Then, once I got in front of people, in a room that sounds very different, and with my shaking limbs and inability to breathe, I choked. Not literally, though. The first slow piece was alright but it could have been so much better. I was more concentrated on my shaking and trying to stand up than how I was playing. The second piece, half of a fast etude, was horrendous. I couldn't get through a full phrase to save my life and the articulation and dynamics were messy. I have yet to receive my "grade" for the jury and the comments, but I'm dreading it. It makes me aware that I probably won't get into wind symphony if I can't play without getting incredibly nervous. It's so frustrated because I can play those pieces very well, but not when I have to. Maybe the judges should just stand outside my practice room. ... But there is the option of taking some sort of drug that they hand out at the student heath center. It calms nerves and makes it easier to play, but it kind of turns you into a zombie, so to speak, according to Zoro. But I don't want to drug myself. I did briefly consider it because I just want to play a good audition for a change. So I dunno what to do. I don't want to be stuck in symphonic band for the rest of my life because I'm too nervous to play in front of people. Gah.
--Elie
I had my first clarinet jury today. It sucked. Bad. I was feeling really good about the music in general because I could play it very well in the practice room. Then, once I got in front of people, in a room that sounds very different, and with my shaking limbs and inability to breathe, I choked. Not literally, though. The first slow piece was alright but it could have been so much better. I was more concentrated on my shaking and trying to stand up than how I was playing. The second piece, half of a fast etude, was horrendous. I couldn't get through a full phrase to save my life and the articulation and dynamics were messy. I have yet to receive my "grade" for the jury and the comments, but I'm dreading it. It makes me aware that I probably won't get into wind symphony if I can't play without getting incredibly nervous. It's so frustrated because I can play those pieces very well, but not when I have to. Maybe the judges should just stand outside my practice room. ... But there is the option of taking some sort of drug that they hand out at the student heath center. It calms nerves and makes it easier to play, but it kind of turns you into a zombie, so to speak, according to Zoro. But I don't want to drug myself. I did briefly consider it because I just want to play a good audition for a change. So I dunno what to do. I don't want to be stuck in symphonic band for the rest of my life because I'm too nervous to play in front of people. Gah.
--Elie
Friday, June 5, 2009
Music + Anthropology = Gah
Dear god, it is hot outside and in. Who knew the dorms could get even more uncomfortable? So, last night, both windows in my dorm were left open so my roommate and I wouldn't melt. Of course, we're overlooking the busiest street on campus where the buses and trucks and whatnot go 24/7, so, needless to say, I got very little sleep and am not a happy camper as a result.
BUT a dear, long-lost friend of mine got a facebook account, so I know he's alive.
AND I'm waiting to see if I got into "hard core" pep band. Dave sucks at getting back to people, so the list may or may not be up for another few weeks or so.
Speaking of band... There was a clarinet class a few days ago where a bunch of the clarinetists and clarinet professor got together and played their jury music for the group. I came an hour late due to a class conflict, and I only heard a few people play. Those people were fabulous, two of which are already in wind symphony. I played alright, but it was nothing spectacular. I was feeling pretty upset because I thought my chances for getting into wind symphony anytime soon was basically zero because all these people were way ahead of me. When I went to my clarinet lesson a day later, I was told that before I got to the class, several of the clarinetists got so nervous that they messed up pretty badly and almost got to the point where the couldn't play because of nerves. So that made me feel better, as mean as that sounds. Furthermore, my clarinet professor told me that I have a "better chance than not" to make it into wind symphony. It's hard to say if he was telling the truth or if it was something he tells to all his students.
In addition to hurriedly getting jury music together, my anthropology class was assigned to write three essays for our final exam. We have the option of writing two of those essays in class, but I'm writing all of mine outside of class. Thus far, two of the three are written, but, goodness, it has been stressful. I'll be super duper happy when I'm done.
--Elie
BUT a dear, long-lost friend of mine got a facebook account, so I know he's alive.
AND I'm waiting to see if I got into "hard core" pep band. Dave sucks at getting back to people, so the list may or may not be up for another few weeks or so.
Speaking of band... There was a clarinet class a few days ago where a bunch of the clarinetists and clarinet professor got together and played their jury music for the group. I came an hour late due to a class conflict, and I only heard a few people play. Those people were fabulous, two of which are already in wind symphony. I played alright, but it was nothing spectacular. I was feeling pretty upset because I thought my chances for getting into wind symphony anytime soon was basically zero because all these people were way ahead of me. When I went to my clarinet lesson a day later, I was told that before I got to the class, several of the clarinetists got so nervous that they messed up pretty badly and almost got to the point where the couldn't play because of nerves. So that made me feel better, as mean as that sounds. Furthermore, my clarinet professor told me that I have a "better chance than not" to make it into wind symphony. It's hard to say if he was telling the truth or if it was something he tells to all his students.
In addition to hurriedly getting jury music together, my anthropology class was assigned to write three essays for our final exam. We have the option of writing two of those essays in class, but I'm writing all of mine outside of class. Thus far, two of the three are written, but, goodness, it has been stressful. I'll be super duper happy when I'm done.
--Elie
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