I Need to Write Something

So - summer. Argh. When did that happen? Actually, today is officially the first day of summer, and it's windy and rather cold. Needless to say, this is not summer weather.

Let's back up. My parents picked me up from Western and on the way home I found out that Heidi had died a few days before. Being home in general made (and continues) to make me feel trapped and restricted, and in addition to Heidi's death and leaving Jon, I fell into a depression. Luckily, I was needed to work at Fair Portia, so I was able to escape and work all day from Tuesday until Friday.

After working for Coffee News, I've come to realize how much I love working at Fair Portia. I love who I work with and I love what I do, even if it makes my back hurt more than anything. Jewelry-making doesn't my back hurt, mind you. That'd be weird. It's the sitting and slouching that makes it hurt. Anyway, I love being there and, for once, I can't wait to get back.

On Friday I received conformation that I'm volunteering at Elma Middle School for their summer school. I'm going to be a teacher! ...sort of. I'm actually not sure what I'll be doing, but it looks like I'll be in a classroom with one other teacher. I don't know how many kids will be there, and I don't know what to expect with the kids. All I know is that Elma is not well-known for their scholarly students, but I'm going into this situation with an open mind so I can embrace these middle schoolers and expect the best of them. I start tomorrow morning, and I need to be there at 7:30 AM for the staff meeting. I'm nervous but also excited. I'm always nervous when I'm starting something new, but this is something different; I want to be a middle school teacher, and if I can't stand working at this summer school, I'll know that this job isn't for me, so I'm afraid that I'll have to change my entire view of what I want to do with my life, but I'm not too worried. I know this will be an incredible learning experience.

It'll also be interesting to see how the staff accepts me since I've managed to avoid the Elma school district. When the principal asked me where I went to high school and I told him I went to Capital, there was a long, awkward silence, because very, very few McCleary students don't pass through Elma High for at least a year before dropping out.

As the Elma Middle School principal talked to me about the dress code, I began to realize that I didn't have many articles of nice clothing, only street clothes with a few very dressy skirts and shirts that are used for band performances. And since I'm smaller than most middle schoolers, I'll blend right in unless I dress differently. My mom and I had an Olympia adventure yesterday and we bought some nice shirts and blouses and a few pairs of dress pants, as the only decent pair of pants I own are some tattered black pants I converted to marching pants in high school. I'm already feeling more confident about going into the school tomorrow and pretending that I'm a teacher because I'll at least look the part - I hope. It's all new to me, though, to dress up all the time, but it's necessary for this position, I think. Then I'll probably go to Fair Portia right after summer school tomorrow and sit in a bunch of dust, metal shards, and sequins. :)

I've also fallen in love with Jason Mraz (sorry, Jon). Okay, so maybe I don't love him, but I like his music a whole lot. Gina has three CDs of his at Fair Portia, so I asked to borrow them, and I burned a copy of them all. I wouldn't have been thrilled to pay for the CDs because I only like select songs on each album, but I like those select songs a lot. I'm always excited to find new artists, even if Jon doesn't like them. But, as I recall, he liked a few songs of Jason Mraz he listened to, so THERE.

With all these activities happening around me, I'm doing a lot better, but I still miss Jon a whole lot. But we Squirrel Baggers will be reunited sooner than later.

--Elie