I've Come to Realize...

Especially after receiving the WEST-B scores today, I've come to realize that Jon is quite a bit more intelligent than me. A few years ago, I wouldn't have been annoyed by the fact that I was dating someone intellectually superior, but now I'm glad for this. It's no fun being around someone who is less intelligent than you in everything. And I'm sure Jon will argue with me, but I know what I've said is true, and I am honestly proud to be the girlfriend of such a smart guy. :) Oh, and it's also ironic that Jon's dad put such emphasis on me being smart. Sure, I'm smart, but Jon's smarterer. Yeah, smarterer.

Although the WEST-B kind of got the best of me due to my less-than-desirable scores, it's concerning to me that people actually fail this test and then become teachers. Mind you, they've got to pass the test before becoming a teacher, but many people said they've had to re-take it. Yikes.

I've also come to realize that there is really no need for Jon and I to have a joint blog. We could do the exact same thing with two different accounts. But having a joint blog makes everything more exciting. We're attached at the hip anyway, so there's no reason our blogs should be separate, right?

My name is now Ms. Hartman. It is weird, let me tell you. In the last blog entry I wrote, I mentioned that this opportunity of working in a middle school would either make or break my ambition to become a teacher. Thus far, I've loved it. It wasn't fantastic or anything, but I enjoyed myself and I succeeded, at least a little. The teachers/staff treat me like an equal and the students treat me like an adult, which is hard to understand. It's difficult for me to not be at their level and be their friend; I'm their teacher now. I've got to keep reminding myself of this. It's a difficult transition to make, going from a kid myself to being superior to these kids who aren't a whole lot younger than me.

As I looked around the classroom and at the middle schoolers and at the teacher, I pictured myself teaching the class - and doing better than the teacher. I'm not being unnecessarily critical; I like the woman I'm working with and I respect her, but there are a few things here and there that I would change if I were in her position. The sad thing is that last year was her first year teaching, and she got booted due to budget cuts. Even so, she isn't openly bitter about it (although she mentioned it to me like a dozen times), and she treats the kids well although she won't be working with them again or in the near future.

Observing and helping in that classroom today made me realize how much work it takes to be a teacher and how mentally draining it is. I was there for a little over 3 hours and I was exhausted at the end, and I wasn't even leading the class. Part of my problem is that it takes a great deal of mental strength for me to dive into a new situation and confront new people - even young children - and it was a mental struggle to simply go up to a kid who looked ticked off at being forced to attend summer school and do his assignment. Once I did confront those kids - or any of them, for that matter - I was greatly rewarded because I felt like I was getting through to them.
I also pride myself in getting through to them because all these kids need extra help because they didn't succeed during the regular school year; these kids are the ones most likely to fall through the cracks, but I'm getting through to them!

I understand why so many people say that middle schoolers are the hardest to handle. They have loads of energy and they're very immature most of the time, but that energy can be put to great use. I don't feel as though the particular math class I'm in (which teaches 6th, 7th, and 8th graders) will test them to apply themselves, which is why I want to explore the social studies and English classes that I wasn't placed in. With so many people telling me that teaching middle school was a death wish, I was beginning to get scared, but I think I can do it. I can't right now, of course, but I could probably handle the kids I'm dealing with now, because there aren't more than two dozen kids in each class at a time. The thought of managing a classroom of 30 of these kids for 5 or 6 periods a day is daunting, but I'm confident that, with training, experience, and time, I'll gain the necessary tools to deal with this sort of situation.

I'm truly lucky to have gotten this position, even though I'm in a math class and not in English or social studies, because it's giving me a great opportunity to observe a teacher and work first hand with the kinds of kids I'll be working with in the future. Mind you, the Elma School District is known to be a ways behind the standard level they're supposed to be at (half of the school fails the WASL each year), but they still need to be challenged, and maybe they'll get that opportunity this summer, and maybe not. But overall, this opportunity is a terrific resume booster, and I'm excited to go back tomorrow.

--Elie