Shun. Shun the nonbeliever. Shunnnnnn.

Made it through one day of camp Ruach Shovava.

And it was pretty much like any other camp day, I suppose. I missed camp last year but I was there the year previous, so it was sort of a home-coming. Only not really.

There are a ton of counselors-in-training this year, many of which are annoying, preppy girls, but luckily they are usually not around me much, and the ones in my morning group are easy to get along with. However, they make camp just a tad less enjoyable, although I do pride myself for not slipping into the trap of wearing a ton of makeup and dressing all preppy or gothic, or attaching myself to a label - or attaching a label to myself. Yeah, I guess the latter makes more sense.

What made today (and probably the future) a little difficult was this girl who is a counselor for the second year. We sort of made friends for the first time last year after knowing each other since pre-school, and I thought all was fine and dandy between us. But during the prep meeting on Sunday and during camp today, she totally ignored me. She also formed this sort of elite group with her, another counselor who I never got along with very well, and two other counselors who are usually pretty nice to me and who I consider friends. But they had this little clique going and I had to take a step back and understand that I wasn't wanted. I've always had this problem at Sunday School, but I thought the one or two girls would be more mature about it. And maybe they don't know they're doing it, because the members of the whole "elitist" group have been friends for a while and I'm seen as an intruder. I understand. It happens.

I was taken by surprise and was pretty disappointed that I was shunned from the "in" group, but then I realized that the surprise probably occurred because I've been so used to having the most magnificent friend ever...Jon. He's always always always been there and always makes me feel good about myself, and then I was all of a sudden stuck in this position where I was an outcast. And as a disclaimer, Ina is probably the only other friend who hasn't made me feel all shunned and whatnot but since she's a meanie face and doesn't go to Western and spend every waking moment of her free time with me, Jon is the winner. :D

So tomorrow I'll walk into the synagogue doors and keep in mind that although I'm welcomed by the campers (at least I THINK I'm welcomed), I need not try to be friendly with the counselors. I mean, I'll chat with a few of them when we're doing a project or something, but when that one particular girl is around the nicer counselors, they all flock to her. But I'm there for the kids, not the counselors.

I also find it ironic that this is all taking place in a religious setting. I've always felt disconnected and outcasted by many Jewish people, and trying to belong in that synagogue and with those Jewish people is sort of a ridiculous.

--Elie (who needs to write less and tell Jon to write more)